Friday, December 14, 2012

Be patient, Bob Cratchit!


A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Dear Mr. Cratchit,

      Yes indeed, I have heard of this man Ebenezer Scrooge. He has a reputation for being tightfisted, stingy, and as secret and solitary as an oyster. Don't you love my simile? I have this job as the editor of an advice column, but I like to exercise my literary muscles every now and then. Sorry - back on topic!

     Well, I would NOT advise you to ask your boss for an entire week off at Christmas. No, that would be a terrible idea. Remember, your employer's name is MR. SCROOGE and not something lighthearted like, for example, MR. FEZZIWIG. If you worked for somebody with a name like that, you could probably try to ask for a week off. In fact, somebody named Fezziwig would probably even give you a huge Christmas party and BEG you to take the week off! 

     But with a guy like Mr. Scrooge, you risk not only losing your job, but jeopardizing your entire family's welfare and ending up living like those destitute people on the street that we see all over London. I wouldn't want you to end up in a poorhouse, or worse, a workhouse! I just can't see your son Tiny Tim hobbling around on his crutch trying to work for his food. 

     My advice is to WAIT. I'm not supposed to be telling you this, but let me give you a bit of foreshadowing: your boss Mr. Scrooge is in for a night of surprises. Just you wait. Things are going to be happening to him, things like chains, pictures from the past, sad scenes of regret, shocking scenes of guilt and remorse. After a night like that, there is no way that he is going to be the same man he was before. 

     I know you don't believe me, but your boss Mr. Scrooge just might experience a turning point (I told you I was literary, didn't I???). 

     I am not allowed to tell you anymore! But don't worry, Bob Cratchit! Just be patient. Things are going to turn out all right! 

     Merry Christmas! (I promise, it will all be OK),

     Ethel





Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My boss is a misanthrope


A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Dear Ethel,

My name is Bob Cratchit. I am the solitary clerk in Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge's counting-house. Have you heard of him? He is known as the most stingy, tightfisted, odious, unfeeling man in all of London, maybe even in all England! Even his name sounds quite harsh. What kind of name is Scrooge, anyway? I don't know anybody else with that name. 

I have several conflicts which I hope you can help me solve.

First of all, Mr. Scrooge refuses to buy coal to heat the counting-house office. He says it is too costly. I think this is ridiculous because he is indeed quite rich, but doesn't like to spend his money to keep warm. It is hard to for me to work with freezing hands. I have to copy numbers all day long in a big book, and sometimes my hands are trembling. It is so unfair! What can I say to him to convince him to buy more coal? 

Moreover, Christmas is tomorrow but Mr. Scrooge thinks that it is wrong to give me the day off! He thinks I should go to work on Christmas Day! Can you imagine? Go to work on a holiday instead of spending the day with my family? I have several children and a wife who are all looking forward to having me home that day for a Christmas feast. We don't have much money but we try our best to have a tasty meal. My wife is an excellent cook! It is impossible for me to miss this day with my family. My son Tiny Tim would be so disappointed.

I guess Mr. Scrooge will give me the day off tomorrow but I wish I could have the whole week. Do you think I should ask him? What should I say? How can I persuade him? Help me, Ethel!

Sincerely,

Bob Cratchit
Clerk in Scrooge and Marley's Counting-House
London, England